My insides have a lot to say, but voicing it out loud isn't feeling like the right way to express it. This return to writing brings much peace to my life.
I have been really working on slowing down these days. Which seems like an odd thing to say..."working on". Slowing down seems like it wouldn't take work. It's the opposite of work, isn't it?
There are times when this hyper-driven woman takes over my being. I mentally make my to do list for the day or week ahead and many, many do's are noted. I've come to the realization that the amount of tasks I expect myself to accomplish in one day is down right ludicrous and unrealistic. This often leaves me feeling disappointed in myself at the days end.
So the question I've asked myself recently is, "why the heck am I adding so much to my to do list?"
Where has this super woman persona come from? Culture? Society? My Family? Probably a blend of all three.
I am in a phase of consciously choosing to move slower, allowing God's grace to guide me. Even when there are a decent amount of responsibilities to attend to, I'm checking in with myself, my center of being to make sure that fast moving chick stays in check.
Some of the ways I've been slowing it down are...
1. Waking up earlier.
I've been setting my alarm for sunrise so I can lay in bed and watch the light peek through my curtains for a few minutes. I also lay with my hands on my heart, take deep breathes, and pray for a while here too. This time to connect with my higher power fills me up so when my feet touch the floor, I begin my day with a good attitude. Many mornings, I even have time to read and sip my coffee in stillness before my family awakes. This is a gift.
2. Short Breaks.
Instead of pushing myself really hard to complete a task from start to finish all in one go, I've allowed myself to take breaks in between. I walk outside, stretch a bit in the fresh air, or make myself something to eat, then sit down and eat it.
3. Deep Breathes.
All day. When I feel the boss lady kicking in, I take a deep breath into my belly, slowly exhale, and connect to my higher power. A quick check-in like, "Hey God, are you there?" And he always is. This re-directs my energy inward, to my heart space, my center, and I begin again.
I've always been a fan of reading, but I go through phases. I'm in a BIG give me all the books phase currently. I'm in the middle of several books, so depending on my mood, I've always got something to curl up with. I try to sneak in a few pages or chapters while my little one is in the bath (he loves really long baths) or right before bed time. Reading puts me to sleep soundly.
A community support group that I've joined has been bringing me some deep connection with folks in my community. There is something in my soul that craves meaningful relations with like-minded beings. I'm so grateful for this program.
6. Walking or Hiking.
Once I do finish a task on my list, before moving on to the next one, some days I go on a walk in between. Luckily I live in a beautiful town full of natural wonders, so this is always rewarding. My spirit gets lifted.
It's summer! The plants I've planted are in full expression right now. And it is HOT, so they need a lot of water. But, instead of mindlessly watering, I've been taking it slow in my wheel garden. I'm actually taking in the peacefulness of the pretty landscapes all around me. Sometimes I bring iced tea down with me for Phoenix and I to sip on (he helps me or plays down in the garden quite often too).
Well, that's all for now. Thank you for taking the time to read what's been going on in my individual world, I appreciate you.